I Am Itachi!
by White Mage Koorii
Summary: That day in the forest would be the day that Sasuke finally accomplished his goal... Or would it? [OneShot, Crack Fic.]


**Warning:** Randomness. Its a crack fic.  
**Pairings:** NaruSasu, if you squint and tilt your head just so.  
**Disclaimer:** If I owned Naruto I can assure you that the story wouldn't be what it is...

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This was the day that Uchiha Sasuke would finally have his revenge, well at least he thought it was. He was standing here now in the depths of some massive forest. The air was dank and the lighting was semi-gloomy. It couldn't be considered dark, what with all the sparse shafts of buttery yellow sunlight flooding down from the high canopy. It was one of those shafts that highlighted the blonde standing near by. Yes, Naruto was there also. Sasuke had made his way from Sound's little warren upon hearing of Itachi's proximity to attempt and pull off his duty as Avenger. Of course, where Itachi was Naruto was bound to be since said blonde was the Uchiha's primary goal.

Thus here the stood now, surrounded by massive trees and pale shafts of shifting sunlight. On one side stood Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto (who was frankly looking baffled at the sudden appearance of his missing teammate, and wondering distractedly where the rest of his 'team' had gone), and across from these two stood Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame.

Itachi was perusal was eyeing his seething younger brother with a bland expression firmly in place whilst Kisame lingered a bit to the left and behind him, sharp teeth bared in a manic grin.

Sasuke's fists clenched until his knuckles became white, and the muscles in his jaws stood out the sound of his teeth grinding together. Temper getting the better of him Sasuke's Sharingan surfaced and whirled rapidly, "Today is the day I kill you!" he snarled at Itachi.

Ever impassive Itachi stared blankly at his little brother his own Sharingan calm, "Foolish little brother…" Itachi murmured. "You will fail…"

Sasuke took pause for a moment, sure, his brother had often told him he was foolish, but the later line was a bit of an interruption to the usual script, "What…?" he hissed out.

Itachi allowed a mild smirk to curl the edges of his lips, "You will fail, little brother… For today is the day I gain the Jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails."

Naruto blinked finally coming out of his confused trance, he pointed at Itachi (for he always points!) and yelled, "Keep dreaming you freak!"

Itachi ignored both his little brothers scowls and the obnoxious shouts of the blonde boy and continued with his earlier tangent, "For…" here he paused for dramatic effect. "I AM ITACHI!" Thus the normally clam Uchiha posed with a sunset sort of background appearing behind him that would make Gai-Sensei and Lee jealous. Itachi stood with his legs slightly apart and his right arm extended to point off into the east, as did his gaze. Behind him Kisame's eyes had gone wide and the poor Shark-Man appear to have been paralyzed by shock.

Sasuke's mouth hung open inviting in the insects and Naruto allowed his pointing hand to drop limply back to his side. Slowly Sasuke started sobbing, "All meaning in my life is gone!" the youngest Uchiha wailed pitifully.

Slowly, as though afraid he'd startle the still posing Itachi into further crazy action Naruto lifted a hand and awkwardly patted Sasuke's back consolingly.

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**A/N:** This is jsut a quick One-Shot, drabble thing that was born one night. I blame the really spicey chili I ate before bed for it. I had to get this thing out since it wouldn't stop bothering me and kept me from working on Paradise Shattered since it was clogging up my creative arteries, so to speak. Slightly inspired by that show that used to be on Cartoon Network called "I Am Weasel!" That and I just adore making fun of/abusing Sasuke and Itachi, mostly Sasuke... But Itachi can be used in so many hilarious ways...

Review if you'd be so kind!


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